Resist the Feed

Signing in...

First of all, I wanna apologize for the rant my previous blog turned into.  That was not my intention when I started writing it.  I may touch on time more objectively sometime in the future, but until then...
Thanks to many of my friends.  Thanks to you I was able to (peacefully) clear up a lot of misunderstandings as well as a lot of things that'd been going through my head.

So I keep trying to find A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars... checked CD tradepost.  Nope.  Checked Borders with my 40% off coupon.  Nope.  I could prolly find it at Walmart or Target, but I'm too cheap.
I've been buying a lot of music lately.  Two days ago I (finally) bought Feeding the Wolves by 10 Years.  I love 10 Years.  They have some of the most impressive lyrical music these days, in my opinion. Can't believe I took so long grabbing this album.  Highly recommend it, though not as much as I'd recommend The Autumn Effect.  Division is fantastic also, but I'm still the largest fan of their debut album.

To the real subject.  Feed.  M.T. Anderson. This is a masterpiece of a story.  Beyond that, it really speaks out as satire of our society today.  As is typical for any good satire, Anderson puts an exaggerated (or is it not so exaggerated?) twist on our media focused society.
It's dance. It's dance, dance, dance. That's fun. Fun's fun, and fun's what you can have. There's nothing to stop you from fun.
That is the beginning of a typical advertisement that could be literally running through your head right now if you had a feed installed.
The Feed is a transmitter that is implanted in most people's brains at birth.  From that point onward, the Feed starts to create a profile for you, and then sends information, advertisement, and all other sorts of media directly to your brain.  As you engage in different activities and buy different things, that feed becomes more and more tuned to "who you are" and caters to that.  You become constantly bombarded by the media.  And it's normal.  The ability to think for yourself is slowly diminished.  You learn to let the feed tell you what is what.
I stood there wondering what it was that made her so beautiful.  She was looking at us like we were shit.  Her spine.  Maybe it was her spine.  Maybe it wasn't her face.  Her spine was, I didn't know the word.  Her spine was like . . . ?  The feed suggested "supple."
The story revolves around a normal kid raised in an American society where about 3/4 of the population had feeds implanted.  Furthermore, he lived in a normal suburban town where everyone had a feed.  It was easy to forget that some people didn't have them.  Anderson takes the reader into this world through the eyes of this teenage boy, Titus, who ends up meeting a girl named Violet, who still cares about what's happening to the world and challenges the feed.  Before Titus knows it, he finds himself spending more and more time with this abnormal girl.  Titus starts to really think for himself when Violet enters his life.  He starts to see how to be himself instead of what the Feed wanted him to be - a mindless consumer.
It was like she took my hand, or I took her hand, and we ducked through doorways, and together we went to an odd place, and it was a new place.  We went there holding hands.
The reader quickly gets just as caught up in Violet as Titus does, but from the very beginning, things are obviously going wrong.  And that fear of what the feed is doing slowly grows as the story goes by page by page.  Likewise, as the thrill of being with Violet and see the world in this whole new way starts to wain, Titus starts to become fearful of leaving what he has grown up believing.  He fears rejecting the feed.
The story extends beyond just the problems presented by a society that supports constant exposure to the media.  To consumerism.  It extends into a heart-wrenching story that left me throwing the book at the wall in the end.  It shows the kind of selfishness that comes out of a society like this.  It shows us how the "feed" can tear people apart.  How it can destroy everything that truly makes us human.
And it shows us how to resist it.
I couldn't recommend this enough, and I feel like I can't explain how wonderful a read it is without ruining it.
In my opinion, this is a must read for absolutely anyone and everyone.  And it's a relatively fast read anyway.  So please, go to the library, go to Borders, grab it off Amazon.  Borrow it from a friend.  Whatever.  READ IT.
Thanks. =)

Note:  You'll notice the collage of pictures and links I added to this post.  Their primary purpose is to give you a little idea of what I'm talking about.  The links go to Amazon, which generally has some kind of review and description of the product.  Use 'em if you like.  That's up to you.  Furthermore, if you end up buying a product I linked you to, I get a small referral.  Don't make that buy something you weren't already going to, though.  =)  Thanks for reading.

...signing out.

Time

Signing in...

I realized today more fully that people all too easily get caught up in time.

I mean, what is time but a method invented to keep track of when things have and will happen.  Quantifying time really isn't very possible.  All time truly measures is rotations of the earth in relationship to its orbit around the sun.  Ever had time "slow down" or "speed up"?  It comes down to how quickly our brains are processing information.  We are processing events and information much more quickly when we are enjoying ourselves or working hard.  This is why time can seem to "fly by".  On the other hand, when we're just idly passing time by, it seems to go much slower.  This is definitely our brains at work.

Essentially, one day can last much longer for a certain individual than it may for another.

That was my attempt at explaining time.  Basically, it's very, very relative.

Let me come to the points that spurred this.

This may go over some heads.  Some of you may think it's silly.  I believe it's true.  From the bottom of my heart.

I love my children.  Immensely.

"Now hold on a second," you say.  "You don't have any children.  You're 18."

Yeah.  At this "time", I don't have any children.  But I will.  I know this.  Now I could never explain to you why I know this, hell, I can't even explain it to myself.  But I KNOW I will have children.  And my love for them is larger than anything I have ever known. "How could you love someone who doesn't exist?"  They exist.  I just don't know them yet.  I haven't met them. They're existence hasn't met this world's "time" yet.  But it will.  And I look forward so much to meeting them.  Love exists outside of time.  Love isn't something of the brain... but of the heart and soul.

Second point.  This has more to do with time being relative to different people.

I tend to spend a lot of time thinking.  I think and I pray and then I do both at the same time, turning my thoughts into a conversation with God.  In a relatively short amount of time I can come to a decision that will affect my life substantially.  I don't need weeks to mull over a decision.  Essentially, I'm just going to keep having the same ideas, the same thoughts go through my head over and over again if I do that.

What I'm getting to is that the "time" I need for any kind of mental process is generally shorter than most other people.

Rather than skirt around what I'm trying to say like I often do, I'll just say it.  Close to two months ago, my long-time girlfriend and I broke up.  More technically, I broke up with her.  I had many reasons, and I'm not going to get into them here.  The problem that I'm running into is that many people think I've "gotten over" the relationship too quickly.  My argument is, what determines how long is "long enough"? There is no set amount of time that is required for becoming emotionally detached from someone.  It could take much, much longer for one person than another.  Of course, one has to take into account that my process of detachment did start before the break-up, but nonetheless, I admit, I didn't take long to "move on." And this is upsetting some people.  To me, I feel like transitions shouldn't have to take long if they don't need to.  I see no reason for me to elongate the break-up if it's not necessary.  It was a high school relationship.  It was intimate, yes.  We were close, yes.  But why ignore happiness when it's standing in front of you?

I don't feel required to conform to the idea that I should remain upset by the break-up.

Happiness is standing in front of me.

So the other problem arises.  I have grown close to a particular friend very quickly.  I have noticed this, my friend has noticed this; my other friends have noticed this.  But why not?  Why does "moving fast" have a negative connotation?  I'm a runner.  I like fast.  =P

It's not that I don't think things through.  I already clarified this.  It's not that I just grab feelings and let them take me for a joy-ride.  I'm careful, and take my steps with caution.

But there's such a thing as being too careful.  There's such a thing as missing something wonderful because you weren't willing to take the risk.

The past few weeks rank among the best I have had my entire high school career.  Why is this a bad thing?

This has sort of turned into a rant, and I apologize.  It's just that I feel attacked.  I feel like people are jumping to conclusions and not even taking the time to realize that I am conscious of what is going on... and that I'm so very happy.

To end, there's something to consider.  I realize that I make mistake in my decisions.  Many of my decisions I am now ashamed of.  But I'm not going to get down because of them, I'm going to learn from them.  Furthermore, I'm not going to lose trust in myself because I've made poor decisions in the past.  I realize I'm human and I realize that there are many things I do know know and do not understand.  But if I can't trust myself, then I can't trust anything.  Not even God.  So I will trust myself, because I know I have learned from my past and I know that God will continue to guide me, as I have watched him do so many times.  I hope others can trust me as well.

...signing out.

Weekly Fiction... I NEED CHARACTERS!

Signing in...

Okay, so I've always enjoyed writing fiction, but I haven't done much of it lately.  So, I'd like to try my hand at a fiction with weekly... possibly bi-weekly releases.  For it, though, I want YOU GUYS to give me some characters.  Sure, I could come up with them all myself, but it just isn't as fun that way.
Furthermore, as the story progresses, I'd like to hear your opinions and thoughts on how it should continue.  I may or may not use your idea, but I like the idea of building it off of the community.
Not that there's exactly a large community here...
So give me a character.  Give me a description of their personality, background, and appearance.  I may (very well will actually) tweak the character a little bit, but I'll try to stay fairly true to the character.  I'd like to use all the characters suggested, even if they're just minor roles, and will also always be open to new suggestions.
I think this will be fun, so I look forward to your contributions.
In case you didn't realize, you can comment, even if you don't have a google account.  You can just use a fill-in name or even comment as anonymous.
SO I BETTER GET A LOT OF REPLIES ON THIS BLOG POST.

...signing out.

Traveling and Other Homes

Signing in...

Been a super busy week.  But in a good way.  Busy like... spring break busy.  Full of awesomeness.
Anyway, my dear friend Zuzu notified me that the people were deprived due to my lack of blogging.  I'm sorry.  I seemed to only be able to do daily blogs for a week and a half or something.  Maybe I can get back to it.  I've always got something on my mind.

Soda comparison.

What's your favorite soda?  I prolly would either go for Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew Voltage.  I really don't like the taste of regular Mountain Dew anymore... I've become too use to Voltage.

Actually, I'm not gonna compare.  Just state.  So again, what do you like best?

I've been traveling a lot.  Traveling to visit a friend.  Traveling to visit K-State, which I'm attending starting next fall semester. I got to stay overnight at the fraternity I'm joining with a couple friends.  Great guys there.  Great place.

But anyway, I love traveling.  Driving.  I don't mind that I spent nine hours traveling in total between the two trips.  Enjoyed it actually.  Except the last half hour before I returned "home".
"Home" has become considerably more home-like recently actually.  But I still just don't feel quite right here.  Just getting out of the house does wonders.  I'll go for a bike ride, hang out next to a creek that runs near where I live, or just drive to Borders or something.  More than that though, I like getting out of Wichita.

Maybe it's cus I'm ready to start college.  Maybe it's cus I really want the freedom that comes with being away from Wichita.  Maybe I'm just a bit tired of the place.  Whatever it is though, I definitely like leaving town.  The longer the better.  I really like visiting my friend in her small town.  It's a nice place and I feel very much at peace when I'm there.  It's the kind of place I want to live in when I'm older.  The kind of place I'd like to establish my Soda Fountain at.  The kind of place I'd like to raise kids at... hmm.

My "wanting to get out" doesn't really extend beyond Kansas.  I love Kansas.  I use to detest the flatness of it.  I thought it was null.  (Null - slang from Feed!  Will talk about this in the future!)  Not anymore though.  While I absolutely love a nice trip to the Rockies (after Kansas, Colorado and New Mexico are my favorite states), Kansas is definitely home and definitely where I feel right in.  I like the Flint Hills.  (Yay for moving to Manhappiness!)

I guess these days I find my home more in where I expect to be in the future.  This is maybe not the best train of thought... but then again, it's not like I'm not living in the present.  Actually, I think I am now more than ever.  It's just I know where I'm headed.  I know where I find and will continue to find a certain joy and peace.  I'm content with where I am.  But there's something more in going out and being in these "places of the future."

...signing out.

Thoughts on Past Thoughts

Signing in...

Okay, so I realize that I've neglected the blog for the past three days.  I blame life for getting in the way.
My next few blogs will probably be in the form of book reviews/commentaries.  More like commentaries.
Completely changing the subject...

Rhetorical question:  Have you ever had something you want to say, something you practically need to say... not just to a person or a few but to the whole world?  Well, I'm sure you have.  Bad part is when you can't.  Or, I s'pose you could, but is it really a good idea?  It could lead to misjudgments... misunderstandings.
No, I'm not trying to come out of the closet.
People think in so many different ways.  You find people who think very similarly to me, while there's others who think on a completely different plane.  Sometimes I guy's gotta wish that everyone could just think like him for one minute.  To see everything, feel everything, in the way he does.
Life can be hella aggravating at times.
The problem is, you can hope for the best, but the best never happens.   Not in this world.  There's always snags; complications.
Other problem is, you're always growing, you're always learning; gaining wisdom and knowledge.  And in that, you often end up going against your word when your opinion, ideas, or ideals change.  I mean, there are things I said four years ago that I completely disagree with now.  I remember saying to myself (and others) that when I was a parent, I would let my children date as soon as they like.  Well, I s'pose actually that still holds true, but for a completely different reason and within completely different context.  I'm not gonna say anything more bout that thought unless someone asks me to.
There's also plenty of things that I said a year ago, six months ago, three months ago, and even just one month ago that I've altered my views on.  Quite often, it's not a matter of completely opposing what I use to think, but rather, that my thoughts and ideals have changed; rather, evolved.  Often the core idea remains unchanged, but it's the details (important ones often) that change.
Sometimes experiences change my thoughts and values.  Sometimes people do.  Sometimes literature does. (Literature, to me, includes books, music, movies, games, etc.) Sometimes prayer does.  I believe God is always trying to speak to me.  Sometimes I listen.  Sometimes I don't.
I s'pose a good thing to be able to realize is which ideals and values are fast and non-changing and which ones are subject to change.
Example:  I am firmly and unwaveringly against abortion and the use of contraceptives.  (Another subject I'm not gonna touch on further.)  This is something that is unchanging.  On the other hand, my opinion on dating and relationships is ever changing and evolving.  As I gain more experience, watch others, and pray, I continue to develop on my opinions of dating and relationships.  I recently came up with a pretty concrete idea of what I believed about dating, but it's still subject to change and has changed and evolved to some degree since I wrote down my opinions around a month ago. Still the core idea hasn't shifted all too much since I first started forming an opinion five or six years ago. (I'll most likely go into deeper depth on my opinions on dating and relationships in a future blog.)  Anyway, perhaps it's a good idea to make sure that both other as well as yourself realizes when an opinion is likely to change.
Obviously, this whole time I've been avoiding what's truly on my mind and obviously I'm not gonna say what it is.
If you wanted to know, too bad.  If you didn't, well then lucky you.
I've got a lot of things to think on.  Think I'll get to that... or maybe sleeping.  Hah...
Thanks for reading.

...signing out.

Confirmation

Signing in...

Today my little sister got confirmed in the Catholic Church!  I'm so happy for her!  Furthermore, I was her sponsor!  Woo!  I pray I can be a good example and guide for her.

A short post cus I'm tired from the day.  I think I may get to sleep at a decent time for once.  =)

Oh, I had buttered popcorn today instead of that 97% fat free crap!  I was so happy!

...signing out.

Midnight Snack

Signing in...

As I've mentioned a few times previously, I've got a bit of a problem with insomnia.  So, often as the night hours trudge by, I grow hungry.  So what do I eat?

I often reach for tortilla chips and salsa.  I LOVE salsa.  Unfortunately, I often go through that salsa much too fast.

I should create a stash of it myself like I did with pop.

Option B is a bowl of cereal.  I'll eat cereal practically anytime of the day.  A few times I've gone an entire day only eating cereal.

Option B is what I'm partaking in right now.

Sometimes I'll get a little more inventive.  For instance, I'll toast some bread, grab some cheese, lay it on the bread stick it back in the toaster oven and broil it for about half a minute and walah! I have nice little snack.

In the vein of toast, there's always the option of buttering some toast and and sprinkling it with cinnamon sugar.  FANTASTIC.

What do you put in a toaster?  Think about it...  No, you don't put toast into a toaster you dimwit, you put in bread!  Toast comes out of the toaster!  Geez.

Oh, by the way, I finished rereading Eragon, but I'll talk about that some other time.

So, what do you like to snack on?  Sometimes I'll go for peanut butter and celery.  Mmmm.  Crunchy beats smooth any day.  I don't care what you say.

My dad is allergic to peanut butter... haha.

I'm sorry, it's not nice to laugh at other people's pain.  I get it way too much.

So there are my random thoughts for the day.

...Signing out.

My Artifact Deck - Extended Play

Signing in...

I really don't know what it is I wanna talk about today.  The day was rather uneventful as my friend Zuzu put it, not to say it wasn't good.

Mmm, I've nearly perfected my artifact deck.

*shifts into Magic: The Gathering mode.*

Yeah, the rest of this post will be about my deck.  If you're not interested, you may as well stop reading now.

The deck centralizes around boosting the effectiveness of the Modular mechanic from the Mirrodin block with the Proliferate mechanic from the current block, Scars.  For those who are unfamiliar, Modular has the creature enter the battlefield with a specified number of +1/+1 counters on it.  Then, in the event that the creature is sent to the graveyard, you may move those counters to another artifact creature you control.  Proliferate allows me to abuse this.  When I "Proliferate", on permanents and players with with counters on them, I'm allowed to place an additional counter of that type.  Obviously, this allows me to increase the number of +1/+1 counters on my creatures quickly.

So, obviously, the basic idea is to play my Modular creatures and then proliferate their counters.  I proliferate via Contagion Clasp and Throne of Geth. Contagion Clasp is multipurpose.  Early game, it works fantastically for taking out weaker creatures that could present a problem or for the purpose of slowing down the opponent.  (Llanowar Elves and Eldrazi Spawn anybody?)  Later in the game, it can be used for placing a -1/-1 counter on a strong opposing creature and quickly proliferating it down to a manageable level.

I can easily abuse Throne of Geth via a couple different methods.  The first is with my beloved Metallurgeons. When I need an artifact to sac, I can sac the Metallurgeon and then regenerate it. *pause for 10 while Sam looks into some rules* ....Oh... scratch that, I looked into that more and found out I'm wrong.  Now I have more incentive to remove them... especially since I'm running Arcbound Reclaimer, my other way of abusing Throne of Geth!  Obviously, using the Reclaimer I can regain artifacts that I end up sacrificing.  I won't necessarily do this is all cases, but it can be very useful at times.  One instance in which it can be particularly useful is when I use up all the charge counters on a Pentad Prism.  Just sac the Prism and then get it back the following turn, returning it to play with two charge counters on it.  (Assuming I have both a plains and an island in play.)  Speaking of the prisms, those can end up accelerating my mana very quickly with proliferate on my side.  Oh, also, Throne of Geth can be used to activate the Modular ability on my creatures.  Say it would be better to have all my counters on a creature with flying rather than split between two- one with and one without flying.  Using the Throne, I can sac the non-flying modular creature moving all of its tokens to the one with flying, and then I get to proliferate to boot!  Hella!

By throwing in Ajani Goldmane and Steel Overseer, I create some addition make-shift proliferation.  With everything thrown together, the deck quickly becomes overpowering and very enjoyable to play with.

When I was initially conceptualizing this deck, I was of course immediately attracted to cards like Arcbound Fiend and Arcbound Lancer.  I quickly realized though that the real power of the deck exists in the small modular creatures like Arcbound Stinger.  I can quickly get multiple modular creatures out with those.  By toppling the proliferate with the modular mechanics, I can end up with a nasty Arcbound Stinger way before an Arcbound Fiend is ready to enter the battlefield.  Even in late game, when I have plenty of mana to spare, it's much better used proliferating and playing the smaller creatures rather than spending it all on one larger one.

So there's the basic idea behind my deck.  If you have suggestions for improving it, please do share.  Anyway, thanks for reading!

...signing out.

A Midday Poem

Signing in...

Look at that lazy cat
Orange, fluffy, and a little fat.
He lays in that sun of Kansas
as he falls asleep on my mattress.
Just as he tires of that place to snooze
He gets up so he can lay on my shoes.
Oh, how'd I love to be a lazy cat
Orange, fluffy, and a little fat.


(Oh dear, he's glaring at me.)

...signing out.

Storms

Signing in...

Ah wow.  How bout that weather?  It started storming here a few hours ago.  The wind had been blowing pretty hard all day, but then the clouds moved in, lightning started to flash, and a few rain drops started to fall... and the wind, oh my, boy did it pick up.  I ran outside and just yelled at the top of my lungs.  Called a friend and yelled at her too.  It was fantastic.  Spun around a bit and just enjoyed the chilled wind nearly blowing me over... feeling the periodic large rain drop splash on my face.

Then I had to go inside cus people thought I was gonna be struck by lightning, haha.  But I tell ya, hardly anything can make me feel as alive as a storm can.  If the rain had picked up a little more, it woulda been perfect, but I'm not complaining.  (Oh!  11:11!  Make a wish!)  Anyway, just enjoying the weather today.  Like many days have been lately, it's been a fantastic one.  Hope you're all doing swell yourselves.  Thanks for reading.

...signing out.

A Good Day

Signing in...

It's 11:30 and my day is pretty well wrapping up. I'm going to be going to sleep with a smile on my face, and it's all due to the fantastic people God has put into my life.

I woke up in a pretty shitty mood. I'd gone to bed in kinda an off mood, (despite the evening being fantastic) and woken up in an even worse one due to a dream. I ended up going over to my friend, Michael's, house to play games and whatnot. If I ever wanna escape high school drama (ugh), I can count on him. He never involves himself with that kind of thing ever... let alone does he ever start it. It's pretty easy to just hang out, goof off, and just plain have fun when I'm with him. So thanks buddy. =)

Anyway, I was in a little bit better mood when I had to leave and go to work, though not in high spirits by any means. Work is a great place for me when I'm in a crappy mood though. I can just distract myself with cooking and cleaning and not think about anything else. Furthermore, most of my co-workers are great for goofing off with. I think it took them a little while to get use to my crazy personality, but now that they are, I can just be myself and they generally just laugh. It's a good atmosphere, and I'm all about atmosphere.

I was very fortunate that I was able to get off early though, cus there was a dance that a youth region from my diocese was hosting. (In short, a diocese is a lot like a Catholic version of a state... although a bit smaller. It's basically a method of dividing up areas of the earth for bishops to look over... that's a poor explanation. Sorry.) Some of my very dear friends were there and I wanted to see them and hang out. So, I managed to get out of work early and I sped to the dance as fast as I could. By then I was in high spirits cus I knew I would be enjoying life to the fullest for the next couple hours. Best part was that no one knew I was coming, so I surprised them all when I got there. Got some fantastic hugs from some fantastic ladies. =D And I made a new friend! Needless to say, these great people made my night... actually, my whole day... and I'm so thankful for that. Cus it was certainly a hard day to make. Thank you friends and I love you =D

...signing out.

April Fools

Signing in...

It's the first day of the month (and miraculously, I'm no longer stressed!) and seeing as it's the first of April, it's April Fools Day.

I completely forgot.

I know, it's shameful. I often am the one doing minor pranks and jokes throughout the day, so I'm a little frustrated that I completely forgot that the day was coming up. Oh well, I'm probably not gonna see many people today anyway.

I could always call my mom and tell her that the cat finally managed to knock over the TV and break it...

She would freak out. No doubt.

What kind of jokes or pranks have you played today or in the past? Love to hear 'em.

...signing out.